Of all the beasts I’d rather not encounter running amok, it would be an elephant. I mean, clearly under different circumstances, a great white shark would be a total shitshow. But practically speaking, my life doesn’t exist under water. So a shark can pretty much wreck whatever havoc his Shark self wants. A full on shark freak-out — even if he’s experiencing it in my neighbor’s pool — is manageable. I can probably even pop some corn, sit poolside, and....

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